Trouble in the Liver
I drink too much. And it’s affecting my life negatively.
Wednesday: Began drinking after FI at 2 in the afternoon. Was supposed to be writing a ten page paper for RELS340, but wasn’t. Instead, lost so badly at beerpong that I almost passed out two and a half hours later. However, more people arrived at 5, and I felt rejuvenated, so I drank more. Beerpong continued until two in the morning, and the only games I won were with my buddy Emily, but we lost so badly the rest of the time that we were forced to make out anyways. Hit Schaefer at 11, didn’t eat, and eventually escaped afterwards.
Thursday: Went to Statistics and decided that I wouldn’t go to RELS340 afterwards, but remained on campus to stay and sit in the sun with some friends. Awkward situation where I was hanging out with Christine and Gentry rolls up, both of who have crushes on me. On my way home, I tried to text Chris about how awkward it was, but sent it to Christine, who doesn’t care one way or another, but freaked out at me when I tried to explain why it was awkward, even though I was telling the truth. To be fair, it didn’t sound great. Got depressed and drank from about 9 to 1, and ended up kissing Gentry anyways because I have no soul.
Friday: Was so messed up that I skipped both classes, even though I was on campus. I just felt terrible, so I had to go home and recover. Slept for a while, then had to go to work. Worked until 10:30, then hauled my ass into the city to repeat past mistakes. Raided a party where Guitar Hero managed to prove I have a slight tolerance for alcohol. Did keg stand, felt bad afterwards, but continued drinking because I hate wasting beer. Made it home safely (which doesn’t seem fair to everyone who doesn’t, since I’m a fucking mess) and passed out. Alcohol hit me in the middle of the night and I somehow managed to fall from a reclining position out of my bed onto my guitar case. It was painful. Guitar is, thankfully, undamaged.
I’m missing work and I’m ruining my love-life. Christine is great; almost too great. She encourages me to date other people, which is painful for me because the only thing I want to do is date her. She’s never judgmental, and she doesn’t expect anything from me, but is entirely into it when I am around. Gentry, on the other hand, isn’t even human. The only time I see Gentry is when she is drunk. Her friends tell me that she is serious about me, which is the first time anything like that has happened in a while. I can’t believe it, because she’s always just as fucking wasted as I am. Not just that, but she doesn’t seem to have any substance to her. I’ve never heard her talk about anything other than drinking, and despite having hung out with her upwards of 50 times, I know nothing about her except her name and that she goes to VCU. On my way out of the city the other night, I got a text from her that was inviting me over. She claims there were people hanging out, but a buddy of mine had confirmed that they had just left. So instead of going back and seeing what was up, I pretended my phone had died so I could take Chris home. I don’t know; I just don’t feel right about taking advantage of a drunken situation like that.
I need someone to save me from this. I knew this would happen when I had more free time.
dejarnettepm said,
April 19, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I told you I would do sober activities with you. You just don’t want to take responsibility for all of this.